Beauty in the Hard

I put a lot of pressure on myself thinking that my faith has no room for error.

I want to represent Christ like he deserves. I want to love Him well, honor Him well and mirror him to non believers. On my good days, there are glimpses of Him through me and I am so thankful for that. But… Can I be honest?

I have bad days. I have days where sin wraps its dirty hand around me.

I have days where I judge.

I have days where I live in anxiety, I speak fear, I dishonor the Lord with the words that I speak or the thoughts I don’t hold captive.

Satan makes it his ultimate goal to hold me captive. He wants me to live in the blanket of shame I create. He whispers lies that I cannot be used by Christ, that I am broken, sinful, messy and unusable.

But, even in the blanket of shame, the Lord pulls it back and reminds me that I don’t need to stay there. He brings me comfort, He restores me, He loves me.

Though I am sure I don’t make it easy on Him, He still can and does use me. Even through my brokenness, He uses me. Even though I am unqualified, through my imperfections and through my inconsistencies, He sees me unlike any other.

Look in the mirror He reminds me.

And he says, You may see flawed, I sees potential. You may see brokenness, I see restoration. You may see unqualified, I can qualify the unqualified. You may see a failure from the mess ups over and over and over, But I see someone who gets a little stronger each time He tells me.

We give ourselves too much credit or completely write ourselves off, however, He is bigger than what we can see, what we can comprehend or what we can justify. He is our creator, and a creator knows His creation from the beginning to the end.

Trust Him.